Often when we are overwhelmed with negative situations, we might ask the big why questions, “Why me?” “Why do we have to go through this?” Often the search for the answers leads to more stress and difficult emotions. At this point it can be easy to go to that place of blame or putting ourselves or someone else down as we look for fault; somehow thinking that finding fault will alleviate the problem. This experience can lead to layers of thoughts and feelings about those very thoughts and feelings that feed anxiety and depression.
When I think of this spiralling down kind of experience the word that comes to mind is disempowerment. When life throws us crap, it can feel like we are powerless to change it. These are pivotal points and life will offer us many of them. We can choose to remain stuck in a blame or self-pity mode or we can choose for the challenge to become a time of surrender, learning and eventual peace. If we gently bring ourselves to look for an underlying truth, it opens the door for great potential to build courage which expands our opportunities for further growth.
We may not always have power to change the circumstances, however, we do hold the power to change our perspective. Change can be a very scary concept and I think it is human nature to have issues with it because, I believe, most of us do. We are either pushing for something to change that we have very little control over or we are holding on to dear life to something that we don’t want to change.
Fear of the unknown plays a leading role in our distorted relationship with change. For many it can lead us to the point where we tolerate unhealthy or negative circumstances in order to avoid facing change. Change is often uncomfortable, unfamiliar and it typically involves some positive risk-taking. It may involve creating a plan with concrete steps and being accountable for actually taking those steps.
I think the operative point here is that, during difficult circumstances, we can find our way to gently shift our perspective, and find opportunities for growth.