My name is Sophia, I’m a youth speaker at YouthSpeak Charity, and this is my story.
Wanting to Fit In
For as long as I can remember, I have always searched for a sense of belonging. Naturally, I was a loud and outgoing child and found it hard to find others who accepted this side of me. Although I had friends, there were times when I felt I was watching others from the sidelines. I remember back in grade three, I would watch my classmates play soccer outside during every recess. I never asked to join because I was too afraid to put myself out there. I often found it hard to try new things. The last thing I wanted was to be judged for failing. I felt pressured to keep up with everyone in my grade
Hiding Until I Couldn’t Anymore
It’s not that I didn’t think I was smart enough to achieve awards and win at sports like these other kids, but I didn’t push myself because of all this self-doubt I had. I never felt good enough or worthy to put myself out there. Eventually this pressure of having to look like I had my life together, when internally, I was struggling, led to me with my mental health challenges. Looking back on it now, I realize how hard I was on myself. I was way too critical of myself at such a young age. I wish I wasn’t so embarrassed about putting myself out there, my quirks and all. I wish I had learned to embrace the sides of myself that I wanted to hide.
Lessons Learned
However, I am also very grateful to go through that period in my life. The experience made me into the resilient 20-year-old I am today. Since then, I’ve been able to achieve all of the things that I thought I could not do. Today, sports and fitness are a huge part of my life and I thank the little girl who used to hide for that. She motivated me to push myself to work harder every day. I also credit the choice to prioritize my mental health.
Changing Old Habits
One way I do this is using healthy coping tools. I rely on positive self-talk to calm myself down when I notice the cues–sweaty palms and a racing heart. Using positive affirmations is a game-changer for me. I can challenge how I view myself and rewire positive thinking into my day-to-day life. Since I grew up being very much “in my head” where I would obsess over past events, affirmations allow me to take control over my thoughts to the point where I believe what I am saying. I use deep breathing to relax my body and thought-countering to ground myself. I also am someone who needs to be constantly moving so I don’t get stuck dwelling on my thoughts. Being outdoors surrounded by nature and soaking up the sun is what I rely on for a healthy mood boost.
YouthSpeak’s Influence
Something else that’s improved my self-esteem has been working at YouthSpeak. Being a trained youth speaker has given me confidence in myself and the ability to share my story with youth. I have learned so much valuable knowledge on the importance of incorporating coping tools into my daily life to train your mind and body to calm down in the heat of the moment. Over the years, I’ve been able to regulate my emotions, become more resilient, and have even noticed a positive change in my internal dialogue.
For that, I am grateful.
YouthSpeak is a charity organization based in the GTA, Canada that conducts assemblies and interactive workshops to help increase the resiliency of youth facing challenges today. To find out more about our projects and initiatives, visit https://youthspeak.ca/.
Help support our For-Youth-by-Youth projects by donating at: https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/i-support-youthspeak
